Children are not immune to emotional pain. Situations that affect adults can take their toll on younger people as well. If you believe your child needs a therapist, here is how to find one.

The Need for a Therapist

Children can benefit from consulting a therapist. If you think that your child is a candidate, here are some examples of reasons that a child could need to talk to someone:

* Divorce
* Traumatic incident (school shooting, loss of a friend)
* Car accident
* Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)
* Bullying
* Depression
* Developmental disorders (autism, ADHD, OCD)
* Death of a parent

This is not a comprehensive list but one that includes a few common reasons. As parents, we often feel that we should be able to heal any hurt that our children have. To that end, we talk to them and set rules in the hope that whatever the problem is that they are facing, it will go away.

No matter how much we continue to talk, sometimes a professional is better able to handle the situation. However, there is still a stigma surrounding therapy for children and adults. The myth is that people will think that you are crazy if therapy is sought.

The truth is that therapy performed by a qualified professional can lead to a better understanding and a resolution of the problem at hand. Therefore, if symptoms or feelings of loss (sadness, depression, outbursts, uncharacteristic behavior) are still present, consider the option of a professional.

Talk to your child first and ask them how they feel about consulting a therapist. Try not to preface anything that you say to influence their decision. If their honest answer is that they would like to try, it may be time to seek outside help.

Identifying a Therapist

Finding a therapist is a process. Here are a few steps to get started:

* Ask for recommendations – Your medical doctor may have suggestions for you. Ask friends and family members, your church pastor or other religious person of authority.

* Check out credentials – Once you have a list of potentials, check to verify that they are licensed professional therapists. Also, if your child has a specific condition, a therapist who works with children suffering from that condition may make a better match for your child.

* Set up an introduction – Let your child meet the therapist to determine whether they are a good match. One aspect of good therapy is the connection between the therapist and client. If your child is uncomfortable, move on to your next choice on the list.

* Evaluate the results – It may take several sessions to get at the heart of the problem, but you might see a change in your child sooner than that as a ray of hope. Positive results are a possible indicator that the therapist is beneficial.

Sometimes, a therapist can be helpful to your child if they are experiencing a difficult time. Use these tips to find a good one.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is not a problem that affects only adults. In fact, many adults who suffer from OCD had shown signs and symptoms at an earlier age.

Because children and teens go through so many developmental stages, some behaviors can be misinterpreted. For instance, anger and anxiety may be attributed to peer pressure when it could be a sign of a more serious condition. With teens, at least they can articulate what they are feeling to give a better idea of what is going on.

What Is Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior?

There are two sides to the obsessive-compulsive condition. On one side, there are obsessions, which are described as thoughts and impulses that come out of nowhere. The person suffering from them doesn’t want to necessarily act on them, but feels powerless to control them.

Obsessions can revolve around any type of thought. One is fear. Fear of doing something or succumbing to something can result in thoughts that occupy every waking thought. For example, the fear of having your home broken into may lead to constant thoughts of what might happen if someone did get in. These thoughts don’t cease even when you know that your doors are locked.

Another type of obsessive thought may concern impulses. Wanting to hurt or harm someone or yourself is an impulse, especially when nothing has happened to warrant the action. This behavior can scare a teen and make them anxious whenever they are in a situation that triggers it.

Obsessive thoughts can also surround doubts. It is usually one specific doubt that plants itself in the mind. No matter what type of certainty is given, the doubt still persists.

Having obsessive thoughts can cause untold anxiety in your teen. Unknowingly, you may become a part of their obsession and thus walk into a minefield. Obsession can trigger shouting matches, unruly behavior, poor grades and isolation.

On the other side of obsession is compulsion. These are ritualistic acts that are performed repetitively as a result of an obsession. Even if the teen knows that the obsession isn’t rational, the compulsive act is a way to satisfy the obsession and reduce their anxiety.

Here is an example. Using the thought about someone breaking in the house, the compulsive act could be constantly checking the locks several times a night whenever the obsession takes hold. This can disrupt sleep and lead to stress from sleeplessness.

Because this is a type of anxiety disorder, seeking a solution might need to involve professional help. Without therapeutic tools, a teen or young child can feel powerless to understand why they are acting in a strange manner. Through professional support, they can learn to survive their condition.

Welcoming a new child into your life can be a daunting experience. When that child is entering your life through adoption, the emotional rollercoaster can be even more unsettling. For soon-to-be parents of an adopted child, here is some advice to help with the emotional issues.

Choosing Adoption

There are many reasons that a person chooses adoption. If infertility is an issue, many couples consider adoption when they truly want a child and have decided that genetic attachments can be waived.

Adoption is also a choice for people who want to share their love with a child who needs it. They may have children of their own, but want to offer a good home to another child. Many foster parents consider adoption when they have grown attached to a child or children in their care.

Whatever the reason to choose adoption, it can be a long process that is full of emotional ups and downs.

Dealing with the Emotions

Choosing adoption is an emotional investment. Unlike a pregnancy, adoption involves red tape that can take longer than nine months until you receive your precious new child. The first choice involves the age of the child that you want to adopt.

There are several thousand children waiting to be adopted. Unfortunately, most people want infants instead of older children. For those who want infants, the wait is definitely longer, and some turn to overseas adoptions.

Be clear on what to expect.  All we see is the end result of bringing home a child, but that image can only sustain you for so long. Look at the situation realistically. You could bring home a child in six months or two years.

Know your choices. There are open adoptions versus closed adoptions. You can use an agency or go through an orphanage (especially if you want an older child). Overseas adoptions are also an option.

Know the potential consequences. Adoptions aren’t foolproof. Birth parents change their minds. The age of child you want may not be available. Overseas adoptions require a lot of red tape in your home country and abroad and are quite expensive. All of these issues can wreak havoc on your emotions.

Handle the emotional side by considering the facts. A mother has the right to change her mind. Resist getting your hopes up until the baby is actually in your hands. Have a back-up plan in case the adoption falls through.

Keep your planning on paper as this constitutes a commitment. Decorating a room for a baby can be difficult to stomach if the adoption falls through. Create a budget and decide what you will need for a child, but leave it at that until you have signed the papers and the child is yours.

Adoption is a wonderful way to bring a child into your life, but, the emotional toll can be costly, even more so than a traditional pregnancy, so be prepared.

Gambling can become an addiction just like drugs and alcohol. The only way to get a handle on this type of addiction is to seek help.

Signs of Gambling Addiction

It is not uncommon for someone to gamble, especially if you are vacationing in Las Vegas or Atlantic City. Gambling in a casino is one of those things that most people want to try once.

You may notice that the machines are brightly lit and the tables are sparkling, all to attract the eye. As you sit at the slot machines or go to the blackjack table, be prepared. Know how much money you are prepared to spend before you go to the table. It is all too easy to spend all the money in your pocket to recoup a loss or increase a win.

If you don’t believe that, try a slot machine. Even a penny slot machine can sap all of your money without you realizing that you are constantly feeding the machine. It can be a scary experience once you realize what you have done, but gamblers with an addiction don’t reach that point. Instead, they use self-deception to delude themselves into thinking that they will stop when they get enough money, but that point never seems to come.

Here are a few of the signs that gambling has become more than a passing experience:

* Constantly thinking about gambling
* Days absent from work to gamble
* Irritability when they can’t gamble
* Shirking responsibilities to go to the casino
* Lying to family and friends to get money
* Things are missing around the house (the gambler has sold them for cash)
* Financial problems (the gambler has dipped into household funds for their habit)

A gambler will do whatever it takes to get the money they need to feed their habit. They may feel momentary remorse, but it is short-lived. They have lost control over their addiction and that can lead to violence and even incarceration.

Getting Help

You need help to break that addiction. Here are some resources that you or a loved one can use:

* Therapy – Therapy sessions can help a gambler realize what they are doing. They show the gambler concrete evidence of what they are doing to themselves and their family.

* Gamblers Anonymous – When gamblers express their desire to get out of their present predicament, meeting with other gamblers can help them to realize they are not alone.

* Psychiatric care – This type of therapy can consist of behavioral modification or cognitive behavioral therapy to help fight the urge to gamble.

Getting help for gambling addiction is not easy. It requires a commitment from you, your family and friends to be there for support and tough love.

With legalization in many states and casinos everywhere, gambling has become more of a problem in today’s society. People have more access to gambling, but it becomes an addiction for some.

If you have ever been to a carnival and played a game that you believed to be a scam, but you played anyway, you will remember that before you knew it, you were so obsessed with getting the prize that you spent a lot of money and then left without your money or the prize.

This is a part of the addiction of gambling. Depending on the game you like to play, the chance of winning with each throw, turn of the cards or pull of the handle sends adrenaline pumping through your system. It’s like exercise in how the body reacts as endorphins are released from the brain, creating a euphoric state.

As human beings, we often want what will make us feel good. For some, that feeling comes when they gamble and they want more of it. Unfortunately, unless the person is lucky at cards, gambling can become an expensive addiction very quickly.

Causes of Gambling Addiction

Here are some reasons why gambling can become an addiction for some. Certain personality traits and lifestyles are more prone to addiction than others:

* Depression – Depressive or anxious personalities can develop gambling problems. As we said, it creates a euphoric condition as adrenaline gets going with each new game. It is like a drug that cuts through that depression for a moment, but the problem is that you want more of it at any cost.

* Debt – The lure of easy money and the specter of debt hanging on your shoulder can lead to gambling addiction. This is especially true if you have a few wins under your belt. You keep on gambling to get the money you need to beat your debt, but often you can’t stop there and instead you incur more debt once the winning streak is over.

* Emotional pain – Gambling can become an escape from pressures at home or at work. As you win, people are cheering for you. As you feel good about yourself and something that you can do, you keep at it. When you lose, you keep playing to reach that high again.

Once the lure of gambling has taken hold, an addict will do whatever they need to do to get more money to feed their addiction. It is just like drugs, alcohol and other addictions. The addict will lie, cheat, steal, embezzle and even borrow to get more money. At this point, they are going for the feeling. They want to win, but even winning won’t stop them from gambling.

Before you try gambling, know the possible causes and dangers of a gambling addiction.

When winter has passed, we shed our heavier clothing and welcome the warmer weather of spring. It’s like being reborn. As the new season begins afresh, you and your body can do the same.

The term “spring cleaning” doesn’t just pertain to housework. Spring cleaning allows you to open your windows and let the fragrance of blooming trees and flowers enter your home.

Now that your house is getting a makeover to welcome the sun and lighter weather, your body and mind can benefit from a shedding of sorts. Here are some tips to help you cultivate new routines:

* Get moving. During winter, most of us slow down in our level of activity.  When springs returns, we should get outdoors and resume fun exercises. They can help you shed unwanted pounds and also gain a new level of physical fitness.

* Change your eating habits. In winter, we usually eat heavier foods such as hot soups, stews and other comfort foods. When the weather becomes warmer, you should shed those heavy foods in favor of lighter fare: salads, sandwiches, cold cereal and the like. You don’t want to weigh your body down any longer.

* Experiment with food. Visit your local farmer’s market. Sample the fresh produce that they have. There is nothing sweeter than the natural taste of blueberries, strawberries, peaches or pears that are in season. Give yourself the gift of natural flavor with fresh food choices.

* Join a group. It can be tough trying to motivate yourself to get back into exercise. With the help of others who are also doing the same thing, it can be a bit of a better transition. Also, you can meet the challenge of others in the group to better your performance.

* Find a new hobby. Your mind can have been hibernating throughout the winter. Clear away the cobwebs with a bit of brain-challenging work. A new hobby can create new neural pathways in the brain and enhance your memory and focus. Take up painting, writing, reading or another hobby that interests you.

* Work on self. Remember your New Year’s resolutions and read them again. Create a plan to make the changes that you want in your life. Start off slowly and let the momentum of success spur you on to new goals.

The body and the mind are connected more closely than you think. Often when spring comes, they need to be refreshed and stimulated as well. The above are some ways to clean out the body and mind.

In present day society, we are often focused on what is wrong instead of what is right. Everything is viewed in the negative. But what if we looked at the positive and learned from that?

What Is Positive Psychology?

Imagine that you are looking at a butterfly trying to bust out of its cocoon. Using it as a metaphor for life, someone might say that life is hard and we struggle against forces that we aren’t sure of. This is often how psychology works. It asks us what the problem is and tries to come up with solutions and answers from that standpoint.

Let’s look at that butterfly again. What if, instead of looking at the negative aspect, we concentrated on the positive? It takes some time since we aren’t wired to think that way, but it can be done. The butterfly is using its strength to push open to a new world one day at a time. As he pushes out, his wings get stronger. Once he is out, he can soar to the heavens happily.

What about that inner strength? It has a valid place in our lives and our society. That is one of the beliefs of positive psychology.

Positive psychology is the scientific study of the attributes and virtues that cause a person, a community or a family unit to survive and do it well. According to those who practice positive psychology, the human condition is not to rail against adversity, but to find ways to thrive in life independent of circumstance.

Everyone wants to make a life for themselves that is fulfilling. No one starts out striving to be mediocre or live a so-so life. For those who are living exceptional lives, their traits are studied to help others to do exactly the same thing. The tables are turned from using the negative to explain feelings and purpose to viewing the positive and how to find that in each person.

The theory is that when people learn to identify the positives in themselves, they can continue to replicate more positives in their lives and the lives of those around them. This is the basis of research being done in this field.

The goals of positive psychology are:

* Strengthen communities to begin to work together for everyone’s good

* Get people to learn to recognize their strengths and how to build on them for a bright future filled with purpose

* Teach families and schools to help children grow and flourish in the environment

* Train therapists to look for the positives in their patients and cultivate it

* Teach community leaders and others to bring this training to the members in their neighborhoods.

It is believed that positive psychology will build better individuals. These people will have more tolerance of differences, even embracing them for the common good.

Positive psychology is a growing field with a lot of potential in individual lives and communities.

For women, meeting midlife means menopause. For men, there is the equivalent of a midlife crisis. So, what is a midlife crisis?

There are times when we naturally re-evaluate our lives. Hitting adulthood is usually the first. Being a child and having your parents watch over your shoulder is over. Another milestone occurs during the onset of middle age. For women, this can be variable, but is somewhere between 40 and 55, depending upon when other women in your family experienced menopause.

For men, this can begin around 40 or 50 and last almost as long. It is jokingly referred to as “man-opause,” but it is serious condition that has both men and women worried. Here are some ways to identify midlife crisis and get through it.

It is easy to lose your way, especially when what you thought was once true about yourself is in question. Let’s take a man who is an executive. All of the sudden he wakes up to realize that a younger hotshot is reaching for his job. In the mirror, his hair is turning gray, and he may look at himself and see a few extra pounds around the middle.

All of these things can give him the wrong impression of himself and lead to trouble. As the image in others’ eyes seems to have changed, a man begins to question himself.

What are the symptoms? Take a look at your man. He may be experiencing insomnia, fatigue, depression, foreboding, lack of concentration and focus at work, thoughts of dreams unfulfilled, his own mortality and those of shifting roles in society.

Many men have affairs during midlife crises. It may be like trying to recapture something that they think they have lost. And then there are the big toys like new cars and boats that can make them feel young again.

What can a man do? He must first recognize that this is what is going on. Next, he should discuss it with his partner and let her him through this time. Her love and reassurance of his importance to them can get his feet back on the right track. The grass is not always greener on the other side, and he doesn’t want to ruin his marriage, family or life trying to find that out.

Get help. He should talk to a family counselor or talk one-on-one. He should tell them of his concerns and ask for help with the feelings. Maybe he needs to rekindle his relationships and accept the new roles his life. They are different but that doesn’t mean they are inferior to who he was before.

Midlife crises don’t have to be his ruination. He should face it with support and love, and get through it with new knowledge of himself and not regrets.

All of us have made mistakes in the past, some of which can lead to feelings of guilt. But, you don’t have to live with guilt. There are ways to move on with your life.

What is guilt? It is best described as the feeling of inadequacy that follows a mistake or a blunder. Sometimes, it isn’t even a blunder to anyone other than to the person feeling guilty.

It is not uncommon to make mistakes. But what follows that mistake? If someone else is hurt physically, mentally or financially, you may feel a sense of responsibility to make it right. This is the beginning of guilt.

Whether you hurt someone intentionally or by accident, confessing the wrong can put the situation in perspective. Either the person will forgive you or not. If it is a criminal act, you will be punished or absolved of guilt according to the law.

But, even after all of this happens, what can make a person continue to feel bad about what they have done? Guilty feelings that continue usually start before the incident that evoked the guilt.

What can cause guilt? Here are a few suggestions:

* Criticism – If you are exposed to criticism all the time, you may feel inadequate. This inadequacy could be directed at you or at a certain task you perform.

* Lack of resolution – If you can’t talk to the person you hurt, then there is a distinct lack of closure. This can result in you making up scenarios in your mind that revolve around feelings of not being forgiven for the act. You may try harder with others to not hurt or offend them as a result of not being able to make amends in this case.

* Unfulfilled expectations – Some people feel guilty just because they can’t live up to the expectations of others. They feel disappointment over what they are not, so that who they truly are doesn’t seem to matter.

So how can you counter guilty feelings?

* Take a realistic view of yourself – Each person makes mistakes. Use them as learning experiences. No one is perfect, but you can try to do better the next time.

* List your good qualities – We all have some. Keep this list handy for times when feelings of inadequacy creep back in. Post it on your refrigerator and on the bathroom mirror.

* Avoid comparisons – We all do things differently, but that doesn’t make one method better than another. If you compare yourself to someone else, you are sure to come up short on some point. That is a good way to trigger debilitating guilt.

* Counter negative thoughts – Stop negative thoughts about yourself in their path. When you have one, counter it with a positive affirmation.

Guilt is a destructive emotion that can hurt you long after the triggering event has passed. Learn to let go and move on.

At one time or another, all of us have done something wrong.  The issue is what we should do about it.

It may be difficult to say goodbye, but it is even harder to say that you’re sorry.   When you do something wrong, first comes guilt, which is a horrible feeling that can lead to many destructive habits. One of those habits is denial. Your guilt is so overwhelming that you pretend that nothing ever happened.

Guilt can also have you searching for someone else to take the blame. No one wants to look bad in another person’s eyes, so they find a scapegoat to ease their feelings. Some of these acts are almost second nature when you have done something wrong.

It all begins with society, which has a view of those who apologize and it can have an effect on our opinion of the act.

* Weakness – Apologizing can be seen as a defect in your personality. It gives someone else a step over you. If you apologize once, you will do it again.

* Admission of guilt – Some people apologize to diffuse a situation. To others, this can be seen as an admission of guilt when you are not guilty at all. Some people are afraid of that.

* Surrender – You are giving over your power to someone else. We have enough people telling us what to do, so we don’t want to voluntarily give that right to someone else.

* Imperfection – Offering an apology may make you feel that something is wrong with you. You made a mistake and are not perfect, but an apology brings that to light and you feel woefully inadequate.

The tendency can be to avoid situations where you could make a mistake. In the real world, that can potentially stop you from leaving your home. Each time you interact with someone else, there is the chance of a misunderstanding that can lead to an apology needing to be offered.

Here are some ways that you can learn to apologize when you have to without fear:

* Do it right away – When we wait to offer an apology, we think of many reasons why we shouldn’t or why we couldn’t. Allay your fears by saying you are sorry when the incident occurs.

* Understand the situation – How would you feel if the same thing happened to you? If you would expect an apology, then offer it to someone else. Say what you would want to hear.

* Be sincere – Refrain from prefacing your apology and using words that could render it insincere such as “but.” Give your all because anything less will be noticed.

Apologizing is more than saying you are sorry. It is recognizing that someone else has been hurt, either intentionally or unintentionally by you. Your timely response can change the outcome.