You knew that one day your children grow up and leave home, but that time always seemed to be far away. When that time is cut down to a few years or months, you should begin to prepare yourself for the next stage in your lives.

Our live include a lot of stages. It is a new stage when our children grow up and leave to attend college or to move out on their own, and gone are the days when all of our plans centered on them.

Just because our children are eager to leave, doesn’t mean that we are eager to see them go. For parents, it means that a journey that began eighteen years ago or longer is coming to an end.

What do we do now is the question that faces many empty-nesters. For so long the purpose of their lives has been tied to their children and they are not prepared for what comes next. Here are some ideas to help you get prepared mentally for this day:

* Teach your children to be independent – The last thing any parent wants to do is cripple their children. Always being there to rescue them keeps them dependent on you and not on themselves. Let them find a summer job, balance a checkbook and take responsibility for chores around the home.

* Grieve the loss of this chapter of your life – There are many things that happen in life that can feel much like a death, and children leaving home is one of them. It is all right to be sad because your children are all grown up and wanting to live their own lives. Take the time to get used to the changes that will come in your life.

* Develop a support system – Talk to friends who are already empty-nesters or who are going through the same transition. Discuss your feelings and what may be over the horizon for both of you.

* Talk to your children – They may notice that you are feeling down. Let them know how you feel. You may be surprised how your teenager will react. What a surprise it will be to hear “thank you” fall from their lips when they refer to all that you have done for them. Believing that you have done well as a parent can aid in feeling good about making this transition in your life.

* Revisit your attitude on life – Now that your teen is leaving, you should redefining what you now want from life.  Identifying your purpose can give you new hope and a fresh outlook on the future.

Don’t despair when your teens leave the nest. Embrace the change in their life and yours.

Lazy eye is a condition that affects a lot of children. Here are some options that you have if your child experiences it.

The medical term for lazy eye is “amblyopia.” It results when one eye is weaker than the other. This can result in an eye that doesn’t look straight ahead when focusing on an object. You may notice in your child that the eye drifts to one side or the other.

Reasons for Lazy Eye

There are different reasons why one eye may not be functioning properly. For instance, the brain could be suppressing signals that are coming from one eye. It can be due to weakened muscles in that eye. Other causes can be trauma, problems with eyelids, or a congenital condition such as cataracts.

Testing Lazy Eye

If you suspect that your child may have the problem, try these simple tests.

One concerns depth perception. This is how we judge distances between objects. It is important in daily life and we use this skill constantly. Hold an object in front of your child just beyond reach, and ask that they reach for it. When both eyes can focus on the object, grabbing it is easy to do, but, when one eye cannot see the object correctly, the child may grope around, missing the object even though they know approximately where it is.

Try to see if your child can follow an object around the room without moving their head. The eyes can sense the movement and move towards it. With a lazy eye, only one eye may follow the object around.

Seeing a Doctor

If these tests prove that your child is having this neurological issue, see an eye doctor right away. Vision tests can be performed to know for certain if your child has lazy eye. If so, a diagnosis can be made as to the cause of it.

Treatment for Lazy Eye

Treatment for the problem may involve wearing eyeglasses. The strength of the prescription may lead the rogue eye to move back into position.

Artificially weakening the stronger eye gives the lazy eye a chance to strengthen up. Eye drops that lead to blurred vision in the strong eye are a possible solution. Doctors may also recommend patching the stronger eye. If the child doesn’t want to wear a patch, they can wear glasses that have one lens blacked out.

Vision therapy such as this can help a young child to regain their vision in a lazy eye. Early detection can ensure better outcomes and more treatment options.

Children are not immune to emotional pain. Situations that affect adults can take their toll on younger people as well. If you believe your child needs a therapist, here is how to find one.

The Need for a Therapist

Children can benefit from consulting a therapist. If you think that your child is a candidate, here are some examples of reasons that a child could need to talk to someone:

* Divorce
* Traumatic incident (school shooting, loss of a friend)
* Car accident
* Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)
* Bullying
* Depression
* Developmental disorders (autism, ADHD, OCD)
* Death of a parent

This is not a comprehensive list but one that includes a few common reasons. As parents, we often feel that we should be able to heal any hurt that our children have. To that end, we talk to them and set rules in the hope that whatever the problem is that they are facing, it will go away.

No matter how much we continue to talk, sometimes a professional is better able to handle the situation. However, there is still a stigma surrounding therapy for children and adults. The myth is that people will think that you are crazy if therapy is sought.

The truth is that therapy performed by a qualified professional can lead to a better understanding and a resolution of the problem at hand. Therefore, if symptoms or feelings of loss (sadness, depression, outbursts, uncharacteristic behavior) are still present, consider the option of a professional.

Talk to your child first and ask them how they feel about consulting a therapist. Try not to preface anything that you say to influence their decision. If their honest answer is that they would like to try, it may be time to seek outside help.

Identifying a Therapist

Finding a therapist is a process. Here are a few steps to get started:

* Ask for recommendations – Your medical doctor may have suggestions for you. Ask friends and family members, your church pastor or other religious person of authority.

* Check out credentials – Once you have a list of potentials, check to verify that they are licensed professional therapists. Also, if your child has a specific condition, a therapist who works with children suffering from that condition may make a better match for your child.

* Set up an introduction – Let your child meet the therapist to determine whether they are a good match. One aspect of good therapy is the connection between the therapist and client. If your child is uncomfortable, move on to your next choice on the list.

* Evaluate the results – It may take several sessions to get at the heart of the problem, but you might see a change in your child sooner than that as a ray of hope. Positive results are a possible indicator that the therapist is beneficial.

Sometimes, a therapist can be helpful to your child if they are experiencing a difficult time. Use these tips to find a good one.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is not a problem that affects only adults. In fact, many adults who suffer from OCD had shown signs and symptoms at an earlier age.

Because children and teens go through so many developmental stages, some behaviors can be misinterpreted. For instance, anger and anxiety may be attributed to peer pressure when it could be a sign of a more serious condition. With teens, at least they can articulate what they are feeling to give a better idea of what is going on.

What Is Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior?

There are two sides to the obsessive-compulsive condition. On one side, there are obsessions, which are described as thoughts and impulses that come out of nowhere. The person suffering from them doesn’t want to necessarily act on them, but feels powerless to control them.

Obsessions can revolve around any type of thought. One is fear. Fear of doing something or succumbing to something can result in thoughts that occupy every waking thought. For example, the fear of having your home broken into may lead to constant thoughts of what might happen if someone did get in. These thoughts don’t cease even when you know that your doors are locked.

Another type of obsessive thought may concern impulses. Wanting to hurt or harm someone or yourself is an impulse, especially when nothing has happened to warrant the action. This behavior can scare a teen and make them anxious whenever they are in a situation that triggers it.

Obsessive thoughts can also surround doubts. It is usually one specific doubt that plants itself in the mind. No matter what type of certainty is given, the doubt still persists.

Having obsessive thoughts can cause untold anxiety in your teen. Unknowingly, you may become a part of their obsession and thus walk into a minefield. Obsession can trigger shouting matches, unruly behavior, poor grades and isolation.

On the other side of obsession is compulsion. These are ritualistic acts that are performed repetitively as a result of an obsession. Even if the teen knows that the obsession isn’t rational, the compulsive act is a way to satisfy the obsession and reduce their anxiety.

Here is an example. Using the thought about someone breaking in the house, the compulsive act could be constantly checking the locks several times a night whenever the obsession takes hold. This can disrupt sleep and lead to stress from sleeplessness.

Because this is a type of anxiety disorder, seeking a solution might need to involve professional help. Without therapeutic tools, a teen or young child can feel powerless to understand why they are acting in a strange manner. Through professional support, they can learn to survive their condition.

You are proud parents now as you have decided to share your love with an adopted child. However, just bringing them home may not be enough to help them to feel like part of the family. Here are some suggestions for easing the transition.

Many families have varying ideas about adoption which can create tension between family members and the new child. While the adoptive parents are the ones who have to view the adopted child as their own, other members of the family will also have an impact on the child’s life.

Bringing Home an Infant

Adopting an infant can be the most like bringing home a baby that you gave birth to. They are too young to understand the adoption process, but you can present them to the rest of your family. Hold a party when the adoption is final. This gives others a chance to meet the new addition and learn to bond with them.

Many births are declared through religious ceremonies. In the Christian faith, there is a christening. Invite family and friends to see you bond with your new child in the presence of a higher authority. Seeing your commitment to the child can inspire others in your family to do the same.

Bringing Home an Older Child

Older children who are adopted may understand what is going on. They may also feel apprehension at the thought of going to another home. If they have ever been in foster care or had an adoption fall through, they will certainly feel that the same may happen again no matter what your assurances.

Talk to your birth children if you have any. Let them know that they will have another brother or sister, but that they are coming through adoption and not birth. Impress upon them that all family doesn’t have to be blood- related to be loved.

Listen to their questions and answer any concerns they may have. It can be scary for them, too. They may wonder about their place in the family if another comes. Assure them that there is enough love to go around.

Talk to your adopted child. Ask about their fears and misgivings. Show them photos of their new family. Give them honest answers to their questions. Discuss what you expect of them.

Try meeting in a neutral place like the park or playground for the first meeting with your other children. The pressure is off of them, and you and the children can communicate on their own terms. Meeting like this a couple of times before the child comes home with you can help increase the comfort level and make everything a little easier.

Bringing home an adopted child can be uncomfortable for family members. Make it more manageable by introducing them to the family first.

Welcoming a new child into your life can be a daunting experience. When that child is entering your life through adoption, the emotional rollercoaster can be even more unsettling. For soon-to-be parents of an adopted child, here is some advice to help with the emotional issues.

Choosing Adoption

There are many reasons that a person chooses adoption. If infertility is an issue, many couples consider adoption when they truly want a child and have decided that genetic attachments can be waived.

Adoption is also a choice for people who want to share their love with a child who needs it. They may have children of their own, but want to offer a good home to another child. Many foster parents consider adoption when they have grown attached to a child or children in their care.

Whatever the reason to choose adoption, it can be a long process that is full of emotional ups and downs.

Dealing with the Emotions

Choosing adoption is an emotional investment. Unlike a pregnancy, adoption involves red tape that can take longer than nine months until you receive your precious new child. The first choice involves the age of the child that you want to adopt.

There are several thousand children waiting to be adopted. Unfortunately, most people want infants instead of older children. For those who want infants, the wait is definitely longer, and some turn to overseas adoptions.

Be clear on what to expect.  All we see is the end result of bringing home a child, but that image can only sustain you for so long. Look at the situation realistically. You could bring home a child in six months or two years.

Know your choices. There are open adoptions versus closed adoptions. You can use an agency or go through an orphanage (especially if you want an older child). Overseas adoptions are also an option.

Know the potential consequences. Adoptions aren’t foolproof. Birth parents change their minds. The age of child you want may not be available. Overseas adoptions require a lot of red tape in your home country and abroad and are quite expensive. All of these issues can wreak havoc on your emotions.

Handle the emotional side by considering the facts. A mother has the right to change her mind. Resist getting your hopes up until the baby is actually in your hands. Have a back-up plan in case the adoption falls through.

Keep your planning on paper as this constitutes a commitment. Decorating a room for a baby can be difficult to stomach if the adoption falls through. Create a budget and decide what you will need for a child, but leave it at that until you have signed the papers and the child is yours.

Adoption is a wonderful way to bring a child into your life, but, the emotional toll can be costly, even more so than a traditional pregnancy, so be prepared.

Sugar is in many of the foods we eat, even the all-natural ones. Since everyone doesn’t eat a lot of it, why are so many children addicted to it?

Sugar is a natural sweetener found in nature. Pure cane sugar has a sweet taste, but is not as sweet as table sugar. The refining process increases the sweetness.

There are also many different forms of sugar in use in food production today. Any label ingredient that ends in “-ose,” or “-ase” can be a form of sugar.

The Effects of Sugar

The body uses sugars as a way of gauging insulin production. Steady blood sugar stops cravings. There are sugars in breads and other carbohydrate foods that level off insulin production.

Simple sugars, such as those in candy bars, sweetened cereals, cookies and other refined processed foods can spike the blood sugar. When it spikes, too much insulin is released into the bloodstream. You get a burst of energy but it can’t be sustained.

The blood sugar drops and you get very tired. To replenish the sugar stores, more sugar is needed. Often we reach for what is readily available, such as another sweet snack.

The Effect of Sugar on Children

You can tell if your child is addicted to sugar if they will eat nothing but sweets. If they don’t get a sweet treat, they will throw a tantrum or cry. These can be signs of sugar withdrawal. Just like anything else that can become an addiction, the body goes through a process when it is absent.

There is an important point to understand: a child reacts differently to sugar than an adult. This all has to do with the amount of sugar they are eating. A toddler may be able to eat solid food, but their portions are smaller than an adult.

We often don’t take this in account. For an adult, drinking a soda can make you more alert due to the sugar and caffeine. For a child, that same level of sugar in their body would be the equivalent of an adult drinking six sodas. The overload can lead to hyperactivity, which is what parents describe as kids going crazy after sweets.

Consider the long-term effects of even one soda a day; for example, it can lead to an addiction of sweets. Going cold turkey with your child can lead to the behavior that makes up withdrawal symptoms.

One solution can be to substitute processed sugar with natural sugars in fruits and vegetables. There is also a sweet taste to carrots, berries, bananas and many citrus fruits. Starting a child on them now can increase their love of nutritious foods and help to stop the sugar addiction.

We have taught our teens about drugs and the side effects and they may even know someone who has tried drugs. When you talk about drugs, teens know that you are talking about cocaine, crack, heroin, marijuana and alcohol and are used to hearing about them.

However, here are some facts about the new class of drugs called designer drugs and how to keep your teens safe from them.

The Sad Truth

The drugs mentioned above are illegal. Using, selling or even possessing them will get you jailed. These types of drugs are imported into the country from other places and sold on the streets.

There are now other drugs that have gone high tech. These drugs are created by chemists to replace the drugs that are illegal so that people who use them or sell them can stay out of jail and/or still stay in business.

Designer drugs have been created to mimic the effects of illegal drugs. Their chemical make-up is tweaked so that they don’t contain any illegal substances. Another name for these drugs is “party drugs.” This is where most people encounter them for the first time. Unfortunately, they also encounter the awful side effects.

Toxic chemicals are used to manufacture them and many of these chemicals are often still present in the drug. That includes formaldehyde, phenylacetic acid and others. Formaldehyde isn’t used to preserve animals any longer because of its toxicity, which has been known to cause cancer.

Those who take these designer drugs experience the same euphoric effects as illegal drugs, but with a twist. The first time these drugs are tested is when they are given to unsuspecting drug users who think they are getting one thing but are really being slipped another. Since party drugs are not the real thing, kids think they are safe to use, but too much of a chemical can turn the entire batch deadly, with even just one snort or swallowing of a pill.

The results are devastating and many have died from using party drugs. Taking too much can result in unconsciousness, convulsions and death. The manufacturing process has moved from professional chemists to household kitchens and apartments. The problem is that many of the chemicals needed are purchased separately without raising suspicion.

Here is a condensed list of some designer drugs. You may have heard of most of them:

* Crystal Meth
* Ecstasy (MDMA)
* LSD (Lysergic acid diethylamide)
* GHB (Gamma hydroxybutyrate)
* China White
* Ketamine (animal tranquilizer)

Some of these are stimulants and others relax you into a state that creates an “out of body” experience. Unfortunately, many of these designer drugs are derivatives of anesthetics and without observation, can depress heart rate and breathing. Hallucinations, anxiety, euphoria and changes in behavior can lead to violence, accidents and death.

Laws have been enacted to make them illegal to produce and use. Know the facts about designer drugs and inform your children about them.

One risk that teens face is the threat of drugs. Here are some facts about drugs and their side effects.

Talking to Teens about Drugs

First of all, know that the scare tactics don’t work. You can’t scare or bully your teen into not getting involved with drugs. What you can do is place the facts in front of them, be honest, and then believe that they will make the right decision.

It is never too early to talk about drugs. Children are exposed to drugs, alcohol and sex at an earlier age these days. When you try to keep it from them, they will ask their friends, who probably know as little as they do. Step up and give them the opportunity to ask questions of you so that they understand all the ramifications.

Popular Drugs and Side Effects

When it comes to talking about drugs, your children will have questions. Begin the dialogue about drugs and see where that leads you in your conversation. Here are some facts about the drugs on the street these days and what they can do:

* Heroin – This drug comes from the opium plant. It is extracted from the dried milk of the opium poppy. Highly addictive, heroin is injected, smoked or inhaled. It has different street names (horse, smack). A small dose can leave you feeling euphoric as if you have left your body. However, once you come down from your high, you may feel drowsiness, nausea, vomiting and cramps. It is easy to overdose if you are not careful.

* Cocaine – It is also called snow, crack and nose candy. Cocaine is extracted from the leaves of the cocoa plant. It can be inhaled, smoked or injected. The drug is mixed or cut with other substances to gain the purest drug. Some of these chemicals that cocaine can be laced with can lead to overdose or a bad experience (trip) that can leave you physically and mentally damaged. Crack cocaine is a stimulant that can lead to heart attacks even in first-time users.

* Alcohol – This is classified as a drug even though it is not illegal. If you are under 21, you are not allowed to buy it, but many teens find ways around that. Alcohol impairs judgment, balance, vision and reaction time. Driving under the influence is one of the number one killers of teenagers. Drinking too much alcohol can lead to alcohol poisoning and possibly death.

* Designer drugs – This list includes Ecstasy, PCP, LSD, GHB and crystal meth. They were created to give the same feelings as the drugs above without using illegal substances. These drugs have proved just as deadly, as a bad batch can lead to brain damage and death.

* Cough medicine – Over-the-counter medications are being used to get high. The active ingredient, dextromethorphan, can lead to paranoia, dizziness as well as an “out of body” experience some kids are looking for. Chronic usage can lead to brain damage, seizures and possible death.

Teens take drugs for different reasons. Talking to them about drugs and their side effects before they get interested can be a deterrent to ever trying them.

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is a condition that is characterized by hyperactivity, attention deficits and irritability. Drugs have been used to help control the symptoms in children, but dietary changes can also be beneficial.

Dr. Feingold, a pediatrician and allergist, developed The Feingold diet in the 1960s and 1970s.  He noticed that many people who were sensitive to chemicals and other environmental agents were also having trouble with foods. Many of the foods we eat are not all natural. They contain chemical additives to add coloring, flavor, texture and shelf life. At the time, no one knew for sure what was in these additives.

Some of Dr. Feingold’s patients who suffered from chemical sensitivities were also suffering from ADHD. He noticed that the diet he developed for these sensitivities also effected changes in the children with ADHD and he was able to help many of them.

First, let us say that the Feingold diet is not a cure-all. While it did help many people with ADHD, it did not help all of them, but, changes in diet have been proved to affect the body in different ways, so it could be worth the time to see if it does change or reduce symptoms in your ADHD child.

The Feingold Diet

The main function of the diet is to return to a simple eating plan. Dr. Feingold recommends removing food additives, artificial sweeteners and aspirin compounds from the diet. ADHD children showed marked improvement in their behavior due to these changes.

The first step is to eliminate artificial sweeteners, coloring, preservatives, and other additives. Here are some examples:

* BHA and BHT

* All artificial colorings (they say “red dye,” “yellow dye” and “blue dye,” but many are made from petroleum products)

* Artificial flavorings (some are made from synthetic chemicals)

* Artificial sweeteners (the chemical process used to produce them involves using hazardous substances such as chlorine); aspartame is eliminated completely

* Other food additives (nitrites and nitrates are found in hot dogs and lunch meats)

* Salicylates (related to aspirin, these derivatives are found in perfumes, medicines and solvents) – many fruits and some spices and condiments contain salicylate derivatives

You will have to read a lot of food labels to find out what to eliminate. This doesn’t mean that you have to give up all of your convenience foods, but taking more time to see which ones are more organic in nature will mean healthier meals for the entire family, not just the one suffering from ADHD.

Observe your child for several weeks. If his behavior improves even over the medicine he may be taking, then it is very likely that there was something in his diet that he was sensitive to. Now, you can add back in one banned food a week to find out the actual culprit that was causing his sensitivity.

In the off chance that your child’s behavior doesn’t change, try eliminating other foods such as high-fructose corn syrup and MSG. Stick with fresh fruits, vegetables and lean meats. Re-evaluate any changes.

The Feingold diet has been shown to help many children suffering from ADHD. Ask your doctor about using the diet in conjunction with your child’s medication to improve his behavior.